"I don't want another dog," I said. I had just buried my late father's 17 year old dog whom I had adopted after my father passed. "Besides," I reasoned, "Hounds are loud and hysterical-totally unlike labs." The client brought the squirming red puppy to my law office, anyway. I offered it a cookie. Instead, it put its head in the box and took one. I was charmed.
Now 14 years later, Maya, my beloved hound, developed a small cough. "Asthma," I thought. We visited the local vet. As a friend said, "You can't MAKE a hound do anything; she has to want to." I had to pick her up, all 60 lb, both of us practically falling through the vet's door.
"She has a massive heart murmur and will be dead in a day or two," the vet said to my astonishment. Lasix was prescribed to release fluids quickly building in the lungs due to the weak heart. With Lasix, she had to eat to prevent electrolyte imbalance and muscle spasms.
Our walks, our runs, our wonderful Montana Mountain days were suddenly over. Maya continued to be a great companion even at 98 in dog years. As a Buddhist of 27 years studying closely with Tibetan Kagyu scholars, I knew dying as naturally as possible was important.
I emailed McDowell Herbal Treatments. Robert McDowell had treated my nephew's dog with amazing success. McDowell's staff was immediately supportive. Cath McDowell sent three herbal combinations.
Maya was raised on turkey and vegetables. For 14 years, she was high energy and never ill. Maya had been losing weight. Decreased absorption, I thought, or increased metabolism. Perhaps she was gearing up to spring from her mortal coil.
Suddenly, she refused all food. I wanted to give the herbals time to arrive and give her a chance. I ordered high-protein, venison no-grain dog food and probiotics, adding pumpkin for fibre. (I gave Hawthorne capsules to strengthen the heart.) I gently pushed the soft mix in her mouth and she liked the taste.
Upon the Herbs arrival, I discontinued Hawthorne and squirted the herbals into her mouth. I tried not to laugh at her expression. Despite strong, sharp teeth, she was unfailingly loving and patient. The good food kept her going. After 4 weeks on herbals, coughing spells decreased from 12 times a day to almost none, but weight loss continued.
McDowell staffer Kate explained Cardiac Cachexia, extreme, rapid weight loss: possibly neurological...poor prognosis, with treatments-not for Maya, I felt. Then, several short seizures confirmed to me her rapid neurological decline. I reconciled to her passing and started playing a Buddhist prayer tape for dying animals to attain liberation.
Maya still arose with me daily. She was the last face I saw leaving for work and the first to greet my return with the gentlest nudge. She was starting to "walk-a-bout", gaze off into space. Was her soul off flying, preparing for the next step? We laughed about having to gently guide her back like my father.
She was like a huge boat sliding off land that paused, testing the depths of the sea. Very soon, I felt. I saw her aura edging out. It had been 90 days from the first symptoms. I had asked her to stay for her birthday and it had just passed.
As I fed her the last day, she turned away. I gently pulled her back. I felt her fatigue. I said with great sadness, "Time to go." She stared back with a deep knowing.
That evening, I Skyped a young friend who had just given birth in Coffs Harbour while Maya lay sleeping at my feet. After, I let her out but she could not get back in. I scooped her up and gently put her down. A seizure started. After 10 minutes, I knew this was the big one.
My strong noble hound stood the entire time. I clicked on the prayer, lit a candle and got to my knees, wrapping my arms lightly around her in an embrace. I said, "It's you and me," anticipating a long night. I softly called her my best girl. I told her Cricket, our neighbour's deceased dog, would greet her. It took less than an hour. To my astonishment, the second the master's voice clicked off, Maya gently collapsed to the carpet and was gone. I will miss her high-stepping hound trot, her playfulness-bringing a shoe to trade for a cookie or gently pulling on my newspaper if I dared ignore her.
I informed the McDowell staff who had followed closely. I was stunned how they embraced me: their loving messages truly helped ease the pain.
Maya was given the time and space to die in a loving and safe place as I was taught to do. She was laid in the shade of aspens and cottonwoods near a pond under a great mountain. My sister, her lab, a neighbour and his dog attended. A gentle rain began to fall and thunder sounded. My neighbour said, "The sky is talking." I placed a white rose on her grave. Maya gave me 14 years of love, loyalty and laughter. She taught me to love.
A friend has sent me pictures of beautiful hound puppies. "I don't want another dog," I said.
Eleanor Guerrero is a retired lawyer, a reporter for Carbon County News, Montana, and is writing a book on her spiritual adventures.
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